Daniel Borzutzky

 

Correction

The institution of metaphor making should take
responsibility for punishing makers of metaphor-less
metaphors.  And it should be the job of the metaphor maker's
union to propose and carry out laws against the making of 
metaphor-less metaphors.  These makers of metaphor-less
metaphors are criminals, we say, in the silence of our minds.  But
in their baseness these makers of metaphor-less metaphors
justify their actions by saying that we want their metaphors, which
are not actually metaphors.  Of course, we do want their
metaphor-less metaphors.  But just because we want their metaphor
-less metaphors does not mean that we actually want their
metaphor-less metaphors.  On the contrary, we want metaphors. 
And these makers of metaphor-less metaphors think that because
we want and even enjoy their metaphor-less metaphors that
this must mean that we actually want their metaphor-less
metaphors.  The public wants our metaphor-less metaphors, they
say, all the while laughing at how they have fooled us into
thinking that we actually want their metaphor-less
metaphors.  Of course, we do not want their metaphor-less
metaphors, but when they speak of cake, which is not actually
cake, they pronounce the words so clearly:  Have a slice of cake, say these
corrupt and fraudulent bakers.  Have a slice of this moist and fresh,
delicious butter-cream cake.  How seduced we are by the clear sound
of their words:  Moist and fresh, delicious, butter-cream cake.  Moist and fresh,
delicious butter-cream cake.  We try to resist the moistness and
freshness of their delicious butter cream cakes, but when they pull out
their shiny knives, and slice into their moist and fresh, delicious
butter cream cakes, we become slaves to the cakelessness of their cakes. 
How delicious, we say, as we bite into their moist and fresh,
delicious butter cream cakes.  How delicious these butter cream cakes. 
We say these words so clearly, and as we savor the moistness and
freshness of their delicious butter cream cakes, we believe in what
we say.  But the moment we leave the bakery we cannot help
but chastise ourselves for enjoying their moist and fresh, delicious
butter-cream cakes.  These cake-less cakes, we scream, these gastronomic
rejects.  These cake-less cakes, we scream, these gastronomic rejects.