Socratic method sofar
The shoelace system
was difficult. In kindergarten
the teacher showed me two
techniques and still, I had trouble.
Waves goodbye from mom or dad
& a feeling, like: I need more time.
That runs in our family. My dad & I
were ready on time unlike my mother
& brother. I felt the limits
of patience & tardiness.
Either my father would set off
to the event without us
or we'd reach the location
not speaking to each other.
Except mother was defiant:
she would not give in to Dad’s anxiety
& silence. She'd ask a series of questions
as if determined to make us survive
the age of information & calculation.
As a student of the fourth grade
I was read a story called
Lost on a Mountain in Maine
about a boy on Mount Katahdin,
a mountain near the sea.
He was lost for nine days
at the age of twelve, three years older
than my age at the time.
The direct result of being read
this story was an explosion
in my chest. I think
this is a style of pedagogy I got used to
very early. It took a long time
not to fear putting on shoes
in the morning. A feeling of being
underwater just below the surface & given
the knowledge that to break through
will require great feats.
Triangulation is the location
of an unknown point so my position
comes to a desired or undesired
awareness: I attempt
not deeper meaning, but different.
so far as soggy
i wait for her on the sidewalk, while she finishes her closing duties. i'm wearing a tight sodden t-shirt, full of insight about how this relationship is nothing and has nowhere to go or be. still, i wait for her, my back against the red brick building. it is march and already sultry when she walks out of the restaurant and sees me. she laughs surprised, as if she hadn't asked me to be there. to the extent that this exists, i feel beyond saturated. we walk five humid minutes to her apartment. we sit on the edge of her orange bed, side by side and discuss how our jobs, plans, and mothers match or don't match our tempers. the story is dull as i wait for her to make the first move. she does this right before we leave her room. with her moist knees and hips she pins me up against the door and kisses me hard and then, soft. she says, How are you going to show up here after all these weeks wearing no bra and see-through undies? i believe myself to be immersed: prepared for it.
her top hat i tip off her fur head
unfurls completely bark peels off a tree outer
garments leave vulgar underfur female
under her rodent of the genus please me science
or slang or seethe my thick brown
genitals sharp her taste buds large
& aquatic broad & flat underwater tail
that tips & waves similar to felt & used
hind feet push offensive wool fabric
she constructs lodges then fells me
repeatedly a dam built for large
overflow eyes slam shut adapt
to blindness a woman or a girl what
gnaws enchants webbed in her
only he didn’t know what i meant – in the subway the walls were brown, yellow, gray – the train came but it wasn't mine – the wrong group, category or kind – the driver was a gray-haired lady about five five in her early sixties – in relation to her train she was petite – she leaned out her window and smiled – the train left – an object – i told him i wasn't a lesbian – he said he was just kidding – i walked up and down – the maroon tiles, the plank – in contrast to the train driver – there was a girl in a red jacket, jeans and black sneakers – she stared at me – a living unit – i smiled at her – it went unreturned – i was out of time, i couldn't stay at the bar to explain what i'd meant – something particular but unspecified – the sign said violators would be subject to a fine – a quarter till one the last train would arrive – what i meant was, you should see me flirt – but i had to go – alone – to catch – my train – came and i got on