Lauren Ireland



April 5 Seattle

Will it always be like this.        Gentle Pacific, sweet
mosses fucking    in green spring    wet as new wounds.
I have no feelings.        I have all the feelings.        Pain
surprises me    it looks like what it would look like    if
all this    came undone    while I slept.        Tell me
what I did    to make you love me    I won't forget.




April 6 Seattle

Nothing is real.        Taxi cab on a rainy morning
supernatural scent of strawberries    I am alive
I think    where is the Perrier.        All of the parties
crushed    under the wheel    of    whatever this is.
I like being grown-ups with you    doing important
and interesting things.        You are brave    you
never carry an umbrella    you lock all the doors.
You held up    the morning's    heavy skies
to let me    slip out    ok.




April 7 Seattle

Every day is a new adventure.        Today
we are going    to become    ginseng addicts.
Grey rolls    down the hills    gathers in
Chinatown's curled palm    little sighs.
I don’t care    what we find    as long
as it gets us    high.        That heavenly mountain
those tiny red shoots    everything    you see
is automatically    the most special    thing.
Chew this knot    kiss this neck    tell me again
what you    can't    live    without.




April 8 Seattle

Fuck this    there is no dress    that makes me
feel feelings.        I want a portal    I can wear.
I want to be    more    everything    on the other side.
I want a dress    the color    of your mouth    eyelash
lace    soft as    behind your knees   

    everyone says    things like this    at first    I know
but you    are crawling    toward me    you are
licking my ankles    you and    there is no   more   poem.




April 9 Seattle

Your heart beats    through the sole    of my foot.
Nishi-Shinjuku.        The Future.        I am not saying
anything    that important.        In 23 hours    I will
have ruined    everything    puking    in the train station
in the cleanest toilet    in the world.        Now    I am lighting
your cigarette    it means    I am learning    to love you
so much    that one day    I will be able    to let you die.