April 5 Seattle
Will it always be like this. Gentle Pacific, sweet
mosses fucking in green spring wet as new wounds.
I have no feelings. I have all the feelings. Pain
surprises me it looks like what it would look like if
all this came undone while I slept. Tell me
what I did to make you love me I won't forget.
April 6 Seattle
Nothing is real. Taxi cab on a rainy morning
supernatural scent of strawberries I am alive
I think where is the Perrier. All of the parties
crushed under the wheel of whatever this is.
I like being grown-ups with you doing important
and interesting things. You are brave you
never carry an umbrella you lock all the doors.
You held up the morning's heavy skies
to let me slip out ok.
April 7 Seattle
Every day is a new adventure. Today
we are going to become ginseng addicts.
Grey rolls down the hills gathers in
Chinatown's curled palm little sighs.
I don’t care what we find as long
as it gets us high. That heavenly mountain
those tiny red shoots everything you see
is automatically the most special thing.
Chew this knot kiss this neck tell me again
what you can't live without.
April 8 Seattle
Fuck this there is no dress that makes me
feel feelings. I want a portal I can wear.
I want to be more everything on the other side.
I want a dress the color of your mouth eyelash
lace soft as behind your knees
everyone says things like this at first I know
but you are crawling toward me you are
licking my ankles you and there is no more poem.
April 9 Seattle
Your heart beats through the sole of my foot.
Nishi-Shinjuku. The Future. I am not saying
anything that important. In 23 hours I will
have ruined everything puking in the train station
in the cleanest toilet in the world. Now I am lighting
your cigarette it means I am learning to love you
so much that one day I will be able to let you die.