Tao Lin
a stoic philosophy based on the scientific fact that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors
we have our undesirable situations whether we are upset about them or not
if we are upset about our problems we have two problems: the problem
and our being upset about it; with thoughts as the cause of emotions
rather than the outcome the causal order is reversed
the benefit of this is that we can change our thoughts
to feel or act differently regardless of the situation
i need to win a major prize to shove in people's faces
note the similarities with buddhism
a buddhist who has achieved nirvana is not sad
primarily because it does not know the concept
of sad; the sole problem of an undesirable situation
is the absence of a philosophy allowing it to be desirable
the cessation of desire in western civilizations
often coincides with the onset of severe depression
a cessation or increase of suffering in relationships
often effects increased focus on work or art
let's compare the person shot with a rifle
who worries about who manufactured the bullets
rather than staunching the wound
with the person shot with a rifle
who distances himself from the situation
until the focus is on the distance itself
turn to page forty-eight of your workbook and read it aloud in a quiet monotone
focusing intensely on the meaning of each word, phrase, sentence, and paragraph
based on the historical fact that after i express anger, frustration, or disappointment
you treat me more considerately, then gradually less considerately
until again i am 'triggered' to express anger, frustration
or disappointment i think we may have achieved something
like the buddhist concept of the cycle of birth and rebirth
let me conceive a temporary philosophy to justify
my behavior involving the dissemination of literature
while maintaining and strengthening our identities
we should be aware that identity is a preconception
the purpose of that is yet unknown at this point
i felt a little sad this morning but was able to block it out
and now i feel better; implicitly we trust that once we discover what it is we are doing
we will return to let ourselves know; the realization of what we are actually achieving
will manifest from an as yet unoccupied perspective, a perspective with no metaphysical
temporal, or physical connection to our current situation
with the understanding that thoughts are the cause
of emotions, pain, and the experience of time
and that thoughts can be extinguished
with other thoughts or states of thoughtlessness
we become wholly irrelevant to what already exists in the universe
all of which can be valuable tools in recovery
the power of ethical reasoning
the most callous, stupid things were done
just because regulations required them
and no one thought to change the regulations
there are many human beings locked away
in special wards throughout the country
some of them abandoned by their parents
and sometimes unloved by anyone else
just as a hamster can be conditioned to press a lever for food
a human being can be conditioned by professional rewards
to ignore intellectual contradictions and the suffering of others
professional prestige, a vague sense of progress, cash money
all-stars, and the opportunity to travel
were the maintaining factors
in our society the mildly obese are respected
for their stability, fortitude, and excuses
they make a tiny difference by voting
but a big difference by spending $10,000 on things
and the voting and spending are for opposite things
the out-of-control behavior of meat-eating human beings
is actually admirable, because it's comforting to mothers
articulating intellectual convictions, isolating irrational behaviors
in emails and poems, and shoving the pultizer prize in your mom’s face
saying, 'i won the pultizer prize bitch'
to humble her into being a better person
are a few of the tasks that now control my life
alone at night i turned away from the computer
hit my face on the bed, made a noise
and turned back toward the computer
with a neutral facial expression, thinking
i knew how it felt not to be in control of one's life
the next day i said, 'if you really wanted to change
you would have changed by now'