Jenny Zhang


 

Flush in the spirals of black holes


you didn't just want to puke in your mother's mouth you wanted to her to feel as big and lonesome as the puke that did not want you if it wanted you wouldn't it have stayed inside you wouldn't it have said hi and wouldn't it have been more reasonable and less lonely and cried less and less afraid of the sun and less afraid of dying alone and less afraid of drying in your hands where it was born alive and wet and not inside of you but you wanted to expel it like you want to expel things that have nowhere to go like I am someone who has no where to go no mother to live inside and your mother does not live inside her mother so what now like every mother has to live separately and your puke has to live outdoors and we have to live like children live all the way never knowing how to be mothers or fathers all the way wanting our families to die so we don't have to start our own anymore and then the world can be puked on by a different world and the universe is the wide open mouth that we live inside the puked-on stars and the puked-on asteroids and the puke riding on the backs of comets saying wooooooooo and the puke swirling flush in the spirals of black holes is like wooooooooooo and we are like woooooooooooooo you and me stand in your puke and I hold your hand and you tell me you don't recognize me at all and I want to be those comets and those asteroids and strap you onto a rock and fall through space forever puking into the endlessness that does not know its own infinity or anything at all, really!